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Many colleges make momentous announcements on April 1 (please note that date). Several of the April 1 announcements concerned technology.
Smith College announced that it was going to upgrade security by replacing two-factor authentication with 10-factor, in a new system dubbed Smithyphus. The college's information security director, identified as Elena Nigma, is quoted as saying, “For years, rogue nations and nefarious actors have been trying to access our dining menus, Moodle postings and Lazarus Center job listings. While two-factor authentication has prevented all of these attacks so far, it is in Smith’s best interest to be at the leading edge of security, no matter the cost. We looked at three-, four- and even nine-factor authentication services, but as a college that refuses to settle, we needed 10."
The University of Oxford is also focused on technology this year, boasting of a major advance in artificial intelligence.
Swarthmore College has announced that it's had enough with modern website design and is going back to simply embracing the simplicity of its naturally beautiful campus.
"We found the new site to be too distracting, a sensory overload," said a statement from Scott R. Boretum, Y2K preparedness specialist (we're glad Swarthmore is still focused on that challenge). "So we looked to our Quaker founders and asked ourselves, WWQFD? We think if they had been web designers, they would appreciate our turning over a new leaf and getting back to our simpler roots."
The Swarthmore announcement also quoted a "real" student, Ken Tremendous, who said, "I'm absolutely thrilled by the change. I was spending so much of my time on the redesigned website, reading the personal narratives and getting lost in the crisp, modern design. It really prevented me from writing my seminar papers, finishing graduate school applications and spending time with my friends, who are definitely real people like me."
Not all the April 1 news was related to tech. Florida Gulf Coast University announced a new mascot:
Meanwhile, the football program at the University of Wisconsin at Madison may have upset more than a few fans when it announced the end to the "Jump Around" tradition during football games, due to concerns about "seismic impacts" of so much Badger enthusiasm. But fear not -- the alleged news offered several alternatives, including "coordinated karaoke," a new "sit around" tradition ("sit on your seat without a sound") and the Cheese Curd Squeak Song. Now that it's no longer April 1, we're guessing fans will resume normal planning for the fall games at Camp Randall.
