Tibetan Book of the Adjunct

Little-known until now, the Tibetan Book of the Adjunct: Liberation Through Understanding in the Between provides spiritual guidance to those in the process of losing their jobs, due to ACT requirements being lowered by the college so students can be pushed through the system more rapidly and cheaply. It’s a terrifying time of transition between the state of employment and the darkness of food stamps for those not in the tenure stream, and after calling the adjunct by name, you should orient her as follows:

Hey, noble one! Listen without wavering! Now on the last day of the semester the Lord Chancellor of the Administrative Clan will arise before you, emerging from within your brain. He is in a dark-blue suit, with three faces, six arms, and four legs stretched out. His front face is red, his right face white, his left face blue. His first right hand holds a pink slip, the middle a skull bowl, and the third an ax; his first left hand holds a Graf Von Faber-Castell Pen, the middle a skull bowl, and the third a ploughshare. His Consort Provost enfolds his body, her right arm embracing his neck, her left hand offering him sips of blood from her skull bowl. Thus they arise manifestly before you, having emerged from within your own brain! Do not fear them! Do not be terrified! Do not hate them! Recognize them as an image of your own awareness! They are your own Archetype Employers, so do not panic! In fact they are really Academic Father and Mother, so have faith in them! The very moment you recognize them, you will be liberated!

When you recite this, the adjunct will recognize them as her Archetype Employer, dissolve inseparably into them, and become the true Freelancer in the Beatific Body.