You have /5 articles left.
Sign up for a free account or log in.
Victor Hugo is said to have proclaimed, “Columbus only discovered America. I discovered the child!” Variations of this sentiment have also been attributed to figures like Rousseau, Wordsworth, Freud, Piaget and Antoine de Saint-Exupéry.
While Columbus uncovered a new physical world, Hugo claimed to have revealed the importance of childhood as a distinct stage of life, worthy of reflection, advocacy and literary focus. He “discovered the child” by emphasizing the child’s central role in society’s moral conscience and future, making children and their struggles key themes in his work and social reform efforts.
Before the 19th century, childhood was largely overlooked in literature. Henry Fielding, for instance, dismissed Tom Jones’s early years with the remark that nothing much happened. Few early novelists, memoirists or poets expressed nostalgia for childhood or reflected on its joys and freedoms.
This changed with the Romantic era, when poets and parents began to view childhood as a unique and special time deserving love and attention. During this period, the first commercial children’s books, toys and child-size furniture—often decorated with whimsical images—appeared.
Romantic writers were the first to explore children’s interior lives—their fantasies, joys, fears and sense of wonder. Previously, childhood was seen as a stage to be passed through quickly, with little interest in its emotional complexity. Romanticism transformed this view, highlighting the imaginative and emotional richness of childhood.
Children, to Romantic writers, symbolized purity, uncorrupted by society, and possessed an unmatched capacity for wonder and creativity. They believed children had a natural curiosity and openness to the mysteries of the world—qualities adults lost through societal conditioning.
William Blake’s Songs of Innocence (1789) and Songs of Experience (1794) illuminated the dreamlike worlds children inhabit, contrasting their innocence with the harsh realities of adulthood. Similarly, Wordsworth, in his “Ode: Intimations of Immortality from Early Childhood” (1807), reflects on the fading wonder and joy of childhood as one grows older. He saw children as deeply connected to the divine and the natural world, embodying spiritual insight lost with age.
Romantic writers also explored the vulnerabilities of children, showing them not only as innocent and joyful but also capable of deep fear and sorrow. They recognized the complexity of children’s emotions, acknowledging their anxieties alongside their wonder.
For many Romantics, children represented a natural freedom and creativity being lost in increasingly industrial and urban societies. Their focus on children’s emotional and imaginative lives was, in part, a reaction against Enlightenment rationalism. They saw children’s spontaneous joy and discovery as a model for how adults should engage with the world—free from societal constraints.
Unlike earlier views of childhood as mere preparation for adulthood, Romantic thinkers believed children had profound insights that needed to be nurtured and respected. This shift elevated childhood from a stage to be endured or disciplined to one that deserved celebration and protection, influencing literature, education and modern attitudes toward childhood development.
The 20th century intensified this earlier focus on children’s interior life. One unintended consequence was to place increased stress on parents, especially mothers. As psychological theories, attachment models and child development research emphasized the importance of early emotional and psychological health, parenting evolved from a primarily physical task into a complex and emotionally charged endeavor. This shift placed new demands on mothers to carefully nurture every aspect of their child’s inner world.
As society placed greater emphasis on children’s emotional development, mothers as the primary parent shouldered responsibility for ensuring their child’s psychological growth was “optimal.” They were expected to create emotionally secure environments, balance structure and freedom, and stay attuned to their children’s needs at all times. The rise of attachment theory, which stressed the importance of early bonding in shaping future relationships, added pressure on mothers to ensure emotional security.
This focus on emotional well-being led ultimately to intensive parenting, where the role of the parent expanded to include constant emotional monitoring. Every tantrum or frustration was seen as a potential indicator of deeper emotional issues, creating a culture of hypervigilance, especially for mothers, who were expected to constantly manage their child’s emotional state.
As the focus on safeguarding children’s emotional lives grew, so did parental stress and anxiety. The belief that any misstep could cause long-term emotional damage led many parents to feel they had to be perfect. This parental perfectionism—the need to raise emotionally healthy, resilient and successful children—created anxiety, making even routine parenting decisions stressful. For mothers, the pressure was compounded by societal expectations to be the primary emotional caregivers, reinforcing traditional gender roles despite women’s increasing participation in the workforce.
Ironically, the increased focus on children’s emotional well-being has created anxiety for both parents and children. Parents, feeling responsible for their child’s emotional state, often micromanage their lives, leading to helicopter parenting—an overprotective and overly controlling parent. As a result, children have fewer opportunities to develop independence, resilience and problem-solving skills, undermining the very goals of fostering emotional health.
In the 21st century, this focus on children’s emotional lives has fostered a parenting culture of constant vigilance. Parents are inundated with advice on managing their child’s emotional health, from tantrums to screen time. The overwhelming pressure to make the “right” choices has led to an overburdened experience of parenting.
This vigilance has also made growing up more difficult for children. The focus on their inner emotional world has, in many cases, limited their ability to explore and learn from mistakes. With close monitoring and less freedom, children struggle to develop independence and resilience, resulting in heightened stress for both parents and children.
What began as a well-intentioned effort to promote emotional health has led to unintended consequences: the overcomplication of parenting and a culture of anxiety and perfectionism. The focus on safeguarding children’s inner lives has placed heavy expectations on parents, especially mothers, to ensure their children’s psychological well-being, often at the expense of their own mental health. This culture of constant surveillance and fear of failure has made parenting—and childhood—more stressful and demanding than ever.
In the 20th century, psychologists and child-rearing experts emphasized that early childhood experiences profoundly shape a person’s development, influencing personality, trust, intimacy and intelligence.
Freud was one of the first to link early childhood experiences to personality development. His psychoanalytic theory held that early relationships with caregivers play a central role in shaping the adult psyche, with unresolved childhood conflicts leading to emotional difficulties later in life. Freud’s focus on the unconscious mind and childhood trauma laid the groundwork for modern views on how early experiences affect personality traits and emotional stability.
Later research expanded on this by showing how early experiences shape traits like resilience, empathy, autonomy and emotional regulation. These traits are influenced by the environment, parental care and social interactions, rather than being solely biologically predetermined.
Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby and expanded by Mary Ainsworth, viewed the emotional bonds formed in infancy as crucial for developing trust and intimacy. Secure attachment—marked by consistent, responsive caregiving—leads to a sense of safety and self-worth, while insecure attachment can result in difficulties forming trusting relationships later in life.
Jean Piaget introduced the concept of distinct stages of cognitive development—sensorimotor, preoperational, concrete operational and formal operational. He argued that early childhood is critical for developing fundamental cognitive skills like object permanence, symbolic thinking and logical reasoning. Piaget showed that children actively construct their understanding of the world through interactions with their environment, and the quality of these interactions profoundly shapes cognitive development.
Building on Piaget, Lawrence Kohlberg proposed a theory of moral development, outlining three levels: preconventional (morality based on avoiding punishment and seeking rewards), conventional (morality based on social norms and approval), and postconventional (where individuals develop personal moral principles). His work argued that the capacity for moral reasoning evolves over time.
Research also found that environments rich in stimulation, language exposure and problem-solving opportunities enhance cognitive development. For example, children exposed to varied vocabulary and educational toys develop better language skills, attention spans and problem-solving abilities. In contrast, impoverished environments can hinder cognitive development, leading to long-term consequences for academic achievement and intellectual growth.
The concept of “critical periods” suggested there are specific windows in which certain skills, like language acquisition, must develop. Failing to acquire these skills during this time may result in lifelong difficulties. This understanding, though later questioned, has had profound implications for early education and interventions.
Diana Baumrind’s research on parenting styles (authoritative, authoritarian, permissive and neglectful) showed that parental interaction deeply affects emotional and social development. Authoritative parenting—characterized by warmth, structure and high expectations—was linked to positive emotional regulation and social skills, while authoritarian or neglectful parenting often resulted in emotional and behavioral difficulties.
Albert Bandura’s social learning theory emphasized that children observe and imitate behaviors around them. Early social experiences, positive or negative, shape how children interact, resolve conflicts and develop empathy and cooperation.
Longitudinal studies confirmed that early childhood experiences have long-lasting effects on emotional health, academic achievement, career success and physical well-being. Adverse childhood experiences—such as neglect or abuse—are linked to higher risks of mental health disorders and chronic illness. Conversely, positive experiences, such as strong emotional bonds and intellectual stimulation, foster resilience and adaptability.
Neuroscience further reinforced the importance of early childhood experiences for brain development. The brain undergoes rapid growth in the first years of life, with neural pathways strengthened by nurturing, play and learning. Early stress or deprivation can disrupt this process, affecting brain structure and function. This understanding has led to advocacy for early intervention programs to promote healthy brain development in vulnerable populations.
The ideas of Freud, Bowlby, Piaget and others profoundly influenced modern approaches to child rearing, education and early intervention, emphasizing the need for nurturing, stimulating and emotionally secure environments to foster healthy development. These concepts continue to shape how we raise, educate and support children today.
Criticism of early theories on children’s cognitive and social development by developmental psychologists, cultural anthropologists and neuroscientists has focused on the rigidity of stage-based models, their neglect of cultural and social context, on variability among children and their limited understanding of how learning occurs.
A common criticism is the portrait of development as a fixed, linear sequence of stages that all children pass through in the same order and at similar ages. In reality, development is more dynamic, with children growing at varying rates based on context, environment and individual factors.
Dynamic systems theory offers an alternative, suggesting that development results from multiple interacting factors—genetic, environmental, cultural and social. Development is nonlinear, characterized by periods of stability and rapid change, rather than a predictable stage-by-stage progression.
The stage-based models have also been criticized for their lack of attention to cultural and social influences. Lev Vygotsky’s sociocultural theory argued that children’s cognitive and social development is deeply influenced by their cultural environment and tools like language. Cross-cultural research supports this, showing that children in different societies develop along distinct paths, shaped by educational practices and cultural norms.
Developmental milestones like moral reasoning or abstract thinking may emerge earlier or later, depending on societal values and opportunities for learning. This variability makes a single, universal model of development insufficient.
Piaget and Kohlberg’s theories have been criticized for overemphasizing individual cognitive achievements and rationality, while overlooking the role of collaboration, emotional understanding and social learning. Kohlberg’s focus on abstract moral reasoning neglects interpersonal, context-based forms of ethical decision-making.
More recent approaches, such as cooperative learning theories, emphasize social interaction in development. These models highlight how problem-solving and ethical thinking improve in group settings where dialogue and shared experiences are valued.
Piaget and Kohlberg’s models also prioritize logical reasoning and language as primary indicators of progress, marginalizing other forms of intelligence. Howard Gardner proposed that cognitive development occurs across multiple domains—such as musical, spatial, bodily-kinesthetic and interpersonal.
The growing field of emotional intelligence, pioneered by Daniel Goleman, similarly challenges the focus on logical reasoning. Emotional intelligence—understanding and managing emotions—is crucial for cognitive and social development and develops alongside cognitive skills.
In addition, Kohlberg’s stages of moral development have been criticized for reflecting a male-centered perspective that emphasizes justice and rules over empathy and relationships. Carol Gilligan proposed an alternative model, an ethic of care, which shows how women and girls approach moral dilemmas through empathy, compassion and relational responsibility.
Meanwhile, recent neuroscientific studies found that brain development is more fluid and continues well beyond childhood. Research on brain plasticity reveals that areas related to executive function, emotional regulation and decision-making develop well into adolescence and early adulthood. This evidence supports the idea that development is continuous and adaptable, not confined to rigid stages.
Newer models like dynamic systems theory, sociocultural theory and multiple intelligences present a more flexible view of childhood development, recognizing the roles of culture, environment and individual differences. These perspectives make clear that development is a continuous, context-driven process, challenging the fixed-stage approach of earlier theories.
The 20th century brought significant advances in understanding childhood development, but it also added new layers of responsibility for parents. The growing focus on developmental stages, early experiences and parenting techniques heightened expectations, making parenting more stressful.
Parents were increasingly told that the early years were crucial for shaping a child’s personality, emotional well-being and cognitive abilities. Mistakes—such as inadequate attachment or stimulation—were believed to have long-term consequences, causing anxiety about getting everything right.
Pressure to provide intellectually stimulating environments grew, with enrichment activities, educational toys and early learning programs becoming common. This focus added stress as parents felt they had to maximize their child’s potential.
Childhood development became medicalized, with diagnoses of conditions like ADHD and autism rising. While these advances helped many children, they also heightened concerns about whether children were developing normally.
By the late 20th century, intensive parenting, especially in middle- and upper-middle-class families, became the norm. Parents felt compelled to closely supervise their child’s education and activities, fearing that any lapse could harm their development. This “helicopter parenting” style increased stress for both parents and children.
Parents also faced pressure to buy the “right” products—educational toys, gadgets, even foods—as success in parenting became tied to material provisions. The commercialization of childhood added financial strain and reinforced the idea that good parenting could be measured by consumer choices.
Sociologist Annette Lareau’s concept of “concerted cultivation” captures the pressure parents feel to schedule and manage every aspect of their child’s life to ensure they remain competitive. This approach, common in upper-middle-class families, has fueled anxiety about not providing enough opportunities.
Increased awareness of childhood dangers, both physical and emotional, has contributed to a culture of heightened vigilance. Fear of unsupervised play has led to a decline in free play, with more structured activities taking its place. This trend has further stressed parents, who feel the need to organize their child’s every move, while children lose opportunities for independence.
Ironically, advances in understanding childhood increased pressures on parents, making child rearing more stressful than ever.
Raising children in America shouldn’t be as difficult or stressful as it has become. The social, economic and cultural pressures could be eased with better societal support and more equitable systems of service provision.
One of the biggest challenges is the high cost of raising children. Childcare alone often rivals rent or mortgage payments. With limited paid parental leave, parents frequently return to work soon after childbirth, adding to the financial and emotional strain.
Unlike many developed nations, the United States offers minimal government support for families. European countries provide subsidized childcare, generous parental leave and universal health care, easing the burden on parents. In contrast, American families bear much of the financial responsibility, making it harder to balance work and family life.
The rise of intensive parenting has placed added pressure on parents to be involved in every aspect of their children’s lives. This all-consuming approach leaves little room for personal fulfillment or financial stability. The focus on perfection—measured by academic success, social status or athletic achievement—turns child rearing into a high-stakes project, adding even more stress.
Unlike in the mid-20th century, when child rearing was more communal, today’s parents are increasingly isolated. Extended families and local support networks have diminished. Children no longer roam freely or develop independence through unsupervised play, and parents are left to manage everything alone. This isolation makes parenting more difficult and lonely.
The sense of collective responsibility for children’s well-being has weakened. In countries with stronger social safety nets, society shares the responsibility for raising the next generation. In this society, this ethos has eroded, leaving families to navigate childcare, education and health care on their own.
The commercialization of childhood adds another layer of stress. Corporations target parents with products and services designed to capitalize on anxieties, from educational toys to high-priced summer camps. This consumer-driven culture pressures parents to provide the best, newest and most enriching experiences for their children, turning parenting into an expensive, high-stakes project.
The American workplace exacerbates parenting difficulties. With no mandated paid parental leave, new parents must choose between staying home with their newborns or returning to work for financial stability. The lack of flexible work options makes balancing work and family life even harder, leading to burnout as parents juggle jobs, household duties and childcare.
Parenting has also been complicated by the “cult of safety,” where parents are bombarded with warnings about potential dangers. While safety is crucial, hypervigilance fosters overprotective parenting styles that restrict children’s independence and increase parental anxiety. This pressure to constantly monitor and control the child’s environment adds to the stress of parenting.
Despite these challenges, American parents love their children and want to give them the best possible lives. However, societal structures and cultural expectations make this goal harder to achieve. To improve the situation, stronger social policies—such as affordable childcare, paid parental leave and accessible health care—are needed. A cultural shift toward balanced, community-oriented parenting, alongside more flexible workplaces, would also help. Reducing the commercialization of childhood would further ease financial and emotional pressures.
Addressing these systemic issues can make parenting less burdensome and more fulfilling, while helping the next generation to thrive.
